Last week, there was a full on empty cup of coffee sitting on the tp dispencer. Today, it's a crapload of printed out webpages. I prefer the bathroom downstairs cause someone leaves the paper in the bathroom, but it is all spread out on the floor like the stall is a bird cage.

There's only one other guy who uses my bathroom at work and he's left his wallet, confidential documents, watch, and a half eaten candy bar on top of the tp dispenser. It's like the awkward/enjoyable part of the work week to find something from him in there.

someone bought a phone to me once from a stall, but the phone wasn't mine.

A bunch of years ago I found a fifty dollar bill behind a toilet. It was used to buy stink bombs, fish, and duck eggs from an asian market to soon be launched out of a ford taurus window.

Other than that, the only thing I've ever found in the toilet has been shit.

The ladies' room is an ocean of tiny hairbrushes, ponytail holders, forgotten lip balms, itty bitty bottles of hand lotion in horrible chemical scents, unopened tampons, and once there was a pregnancy test floating in the handicapped stall.

(Results were negative)

I always knew there was a plethora of magical artifacts in there. Thanks for your insight on the matter.

You found the +5 Jingleberry Vanilla Hand Lotion of Power

i left a steaming dump in the shitter.. can you locate that for me?

KTHNXBYE

I like to shit at work. Might as well get paid for it.