For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future. For those who call New England home, this is just plain great!

Information on Boston and the surrounding area:

There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street. Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc. If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.

Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm Ave; South Boston i s Southie. The South End is the South End.
East Boston is Eastie. The North End is east of the former West End. The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night. Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.

How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly:
**Say it wrong, be shunned**
Worcester: Wuhsta (or Wistah)
Gloucester : Glawsta
Leicester Lesta
Woburn: Wooban
Dedham : Dead-um
Revere: Re-vee-ah
Quincy: Quinzee
Tewksbury : Tooks berry
Leominster : Lemon-sta
Peabody: Pea-ba-dee
Waltham : Walth-ham
Chatham: Chattum

Definitions:
Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
Soda is CLUB SODA.
"Pop" is Dad.
When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more than $6/pound, you got scrod.
It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.
It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.
It's not a spucky it's a sub.
It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
It's not a purse; it's a pockabook.
They're not franks; they're haht dahgs.&nbs p; &nbs p;Franks are money in France.

Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a "crooza". If you take the bus, your on the "looza crooza". It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic. It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary. "Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard & Nantucket.
If something's good, it's a "pissa". If something's really good, it's a "wicked pissa".

The Pat's = The Patriots
The Sox = The Red Sox
The C's = The Celtics
The B's = The Bruins

Things not to do:

Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd ... they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville (Somerville). Don't sleep in the Common. (Boston Common) Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.

Things you should know:

There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one new for each).

The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the weatha':
"Solid blue, clear view...."
"Flashing blue, clouds due...."
"Solid red, rain ahead...."
"Flashing red, snow instead...." - (except in summer; flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out)

Route 128 is also I-95 south. It's also I-93 north.
The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).
Order the "cold tea" in China Town after 2:00 am you'll get a kettle full of beer.

Bostonians... think that it's their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic.
Bostonians...think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's).
Bostonians...think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
Bostonians...refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."
Bostonians...always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.
Bostonians...say everything in town is "a five-minute walk." (pronounced "wok")
Bostonians...believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
Bostonians...think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.
Bostonians...think Rhode Island accents are annoying.


Send this one to your friends who don't live in Boston( and the ones who do!!)

Pretty damn accurate.

haha...that's pretty good

yeah, I was like "they are going to forget leominster" but then they didnt.
and what about Plaistow?
or going "ovah the bordah" meaning going to NH (probably to buy booze on sundays)

wow...that's an oldie

missed Haverhill though; found these elsewhere, even if they're not as good.

--
You Know You're From Massachusetts When...
You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.
You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit.
You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.
You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks.
You know what they sell at a packie.
You can actually find your way around Boston.
Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.
You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.
You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day.
You have never been to Cheers.
When the words 'WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together.
You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Pats would move to Hartford.
You have gone to at least one party at UMass.
The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools.
You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat.
You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner's legs.
You pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this season, but in your lifetime.
You know that "Big Dig" is also a kind of ice cream you can get at Brigham's.
You actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one.
You never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape".
You think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger.
You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, or both, on field trip in grammar school.
You're aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world.
You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day.
You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.
You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group.
You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90% Lebanese.
You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.
You've called something "wicked pissa".
You have driven to either Rhode Island, New Hampshire or Vermont for a tattoo.
You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater.
You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frank(ie).
You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car...year round.
You still try to order curly fries from Burger King.
You order iced coffee in January.
You know what candlepin bowling is.
You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax.
You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.
You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop and/or Building #19.
You know what a "regular" coffee is.
You deny that you've lived "here" your whole life; you were born in the next town over, and didn't move till you started kindergarten.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MASSACHUSETTS IF.....

1. You think crosswalks are for wimps
2. You think if someone's nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town and lost
3. You know how to cross four lanes of traffic in five seconds....on foot.
4. You're amazed when traveling out of town that people at McDonalds actually speak english
5. You think it's not actually tailgating unless you're touching the bumper of the car in front of you
6. You know that a yellow light means that at least five more people can get through and a red one means two more can
7. The transportation system is known as the "T"
8. You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house
9. Subway is a fast food place
10. There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house
11. When people talk about "The Curse Of The Bambino" you know what they're talking about and believe it too
12. You believe using your turn signals gives away your plan to the enemy
13. If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three different names
14. Someone has honked at you because you didnt peel out the second the light turned green
15. You have honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green
16. All the potholes just add to the excitement of driving
17. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you want to
18. Six inches of snow is considered a dusting
19. Three days of 90 degree heat is definately a "heat wave" 63 degrees is "on the warm side"
20. You cringe everytime you hear some actor/actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV or in a movie; if you don't have it then you're never going to get it even if you were born here
21. At the ice cream shop you call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies"
22. You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes and see at least fifteen losers you went to high school with doing the same thing they were doing when you saw them last
23. You still try to order curly fries from Burger King, and crullers from Dunkin's
24. You can navigate a rotary without a problem
25. You refer to the New York Yankees as the devil
26. You feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you
27. When someone calls you a "masshole" you take it as a compliment
28. Saint Patrick's Day is your second favorite holiday
29. You are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a thank you
30. You know the Mass Pike and 128 are some strange weather dividing lines
31. You've gone from I-95 South to I-93 North by driving in a straight line and never changing direction.

HeavensJail said:

i'll have to disagree with this one, i've lived in MA my whole life, and i still cant find my way around Boston.

i'm from wooban

i once pahked my cah in havahd yahd while drinkin a beeya
and rockos in wilmington calls sub spuckies. And in wooban there are at least 10 dunkin donuts

I know some ppl named sen pat, whitey and bud, but i never met a seamus, and i did go to a party at umass

This thread is funny cuz it's true

WE CALL FRANKFURTERS HOT DOGS AND CALL THE SOUTH END SOUTHIE. IT'S LIKE SOME SORT OF MAGICAL HORRIBLE BACKWARDS LAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



seriously, people need to get over this. If you're in Boston you're more likely to run into some pube who grew up in Des Moines and decided to live here after they graduated from Northeastern than a real r-dropping, larry bird worshiping new englander. I've never heard anybody call soda "tonic". We're more or less the only state in the union with rotaries still so why the hell shouldn't we name it what we want. Furthermore, the American Revolution more or less started in Boston, what the hell happened in YOUR home town?

A woman I work with just moved up here from Tennessee. Her whole life she called trail mix "GORP" and considered the term "trail mix" to be absolutely ridiculous.... in comparison to GORP

xmikex said:

nothing happened in wooban during the american revo, but lexington and concord stuff happened.
And i used to refer soda as tonic

I also went my first 18 years calling soda tonic.
and I'm from NH where there is a rotary in most towns. so go take a bite out of plymouth rock why don't ya.

I was born and raised in Lynn mass, and when I moved to NH I was amazed at how dark, how quiet, how few minorities there were, how I didn't have to be careful of how I looked when I walked around town, like if some peurto rican in lynn catches glances with you, you better be ready to call steven seaggal for back up.

the_reverend said:


there are like five new ones in Nashua since they two or three years ago

yep, and every town's got a rotary club.

HeavensJail said:

"Flashing red, snow instead...." - (except in summer; flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out)


This I did not know

...I call it tonic...

http://www.boston-online.com/glossary.html

Oh yes.

no respectable person from boston believed in the curse of the bambino. it was a way for homo's like dan shaugnessy to make an extra buck and something for soccer mom's in the office to talk about when they saw someone in a sox jersey. and i refuse to believe anyone around here calls soda, tonic. bob's lying.

also, i would rather hear the death rattle of my only child than call a liquor store a 'packie.'

I believe they say packie in NY too.

Yeti said:

Boston is easy to navigate if you're not driving.

after reading that glossary thing years ago, I started calling 2 liters "Bossa Tonics". just because it sounds ridiculous.

But it is tonic.

I can think of a few rotaries in Rhode Island, I have been to Plymouth Plantation more than once on a field trip, and I've been candlepin bowling...but I would never brag about going to the Christmas Tree Shop. I hope that place fucking burns to the ground.

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE TO BUY CRAP?

I'd only buy something there if I got to set it on fire in the store.

Burning down a Christmas Tree Shop would be like Auchwitz for crazy old cat ladies.

i never understood why people pronounce it wistah and quinzee.

tbone_r nli said:

my grandmother still calls it tonic. sometimes she says soda, but usually tonic.

i live right outside boston and i have never said "pissa" or "wicked pissa"

that list is stupid. no one calls woburn wooban, they call it woo-bin.

it's more of a "woo-bun"

or maybe even "woo-ben"

Mass knows how to Patty Had!

no, it's woo-bin. i grew up on the burlington/woo-bin border. i know the real deal.

GORP stands for Good Ol Raisins and Peanuts, Duh

dreadkill said:

show me naked pictures or she doesn't exist.

if i had n00dz i'd surely keep them to myself

xmikex said:

How would you even call it a rotary if you don't use the letter R?

the_reverend said:

What is the reason for this one?

the whole northern ireland/regular ireland catholic/protestant thing

Boston sounds retarded. Can we sell it to Mexico?

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52788

dreadkill said:

i fucking hate when people call Worcester "wistah". anyone who refers to it that way doesnt actually live in Worcester. the only acceptable slang for Worcester is "Woosta Pizza" because they make incredible pizza.

dooblevay-ooo-n-eee ...Woosterrr Bostonnn

hahahahaha the old Univision ad. i saw an ad on their one time for "learn how to speak english" and the phone number was 1-800-777-7777 so it was spoken in spanish as "whatever 1-800 is in spanish, siete siete siete, siete siete, siete siete". hahahaha.

there*

How many times are you gonna edit the title?

they should just learn to stay out of the fuckin country in the first place.

Dwellingsickness said:

until someone noticed.
thank you.

FuckIsMySignature said:

Woosterrr Bostonnn... I used to fucking love that shit. When I was in middle school, at anywhere from 10pm to 2am they'd run out of Spanish programming on channel 27 and start running monster movies and Ultraman and crazy slasher shit. I lived for that.

Oh man I didnt know they did that... I just used to watch RealRockTV on there and occasionaly Sabado Giganto when feeling friscy.

the current title of this thread makes me laugh. a few years ago, my dad was in the hospital for shoulder surgery. i was at a red light on my way to go visit him and this dude i hate pulled up next to me and asked where i was headed. i told him the hospital to visit my dad and he went "shit dude!" and i drove away.