Mrs. Hoser is pregnant with our 1st child.

I have been embarrassed as hell walking into drug stores and buying prenatal vitamins and all of the other weird shit that she needs.

Dan Robinson where are you man??!! I need your advice on how to not be embarrassed buying all of this weird shit!

No seriously...were very happy about it.

you could look at it as you are buying the stuff because you are getting laid regularly. and you can laugh at all of the people who arent.

Nice. I trust you're already buying 'Baby's First Shotgun'.

should i tell him it's my kid?

bah nuts i already fucked it up

the baby already hates massachusetts and liberals.

The fetus has already called the midwife a pinko faggot and told her to get a fucking job.

Hahahahahahahahaha....no I hope that my kid never has any interest in politics in any form.

And yes....there will be a youth shotgun somewhere in the mix.....

Congratulations. I trust that this will be the most frightening child on the planet.

Only until my offsring are unleashed.

wow man congrats

RichHorror said:

if you've seen the movie "Its Alive!" then you already know what they are going to be like.

dreadkill said:

Right, I was going to say, congrats and make sure you keep your baby away from all those unwashed colored folk.

DEM HOBOS IS EVERYWHERE.

This is how this went....

Mrs Hoser- "Oh btw, Im pregnant."
Hoser- "Oh Cool...ZZZzzzzzzZZZZZ"


really.










congrats bud, I'll see you tonight.

Hoser said:

Order everything offline.

It removes the akward feeling. Thats how I buy glittery anal lubricant and vibrating cockrings. I don't want some hot chick at an adult video store see my buying those things.

Buy the baby one of those little japanese ESP horison.

those are just adorable.

Welcome to the end of yer life. Mine ended 11 years ago. Congrats regardless.

I can't wait until the kid turns 14 and starts rebelling.

"Dad, meet my girlfriend Laquisha. We're going to make tofu cookies for the ACLU fundraiser and then drive our hybrid car to Boston to score some X."

Josh_Martin said:


HA!!!

You got married to her after knowing her for 6 months and she's already preggo?

That's what you call not wasting time.

dad.... i'm going to BU.

anonymous said:

They couldve known each other 2 days, and still got married, they are perfect for each other. Really. She IS a female Hoser, to the T.

I can relate. That's rad.

Congrats Hose. Now it's time to get snipped!

largefreakatzero said:

Good idea. I got snipped, but not until after the 3rd spud.

CaptainCleanoff said:

I got snipped before any spuds, but I am a selfish fucker.

Congrats man!!!

Raise him or her to hate the state of Mass

largefreakatzero said:


SMART SMART SMART SMART SMART SMART SMART SMART man.

Hahahahahaha.....I laughed at Josh's comment but I highly doubt a scenario like that would ever take place. Between my wife and I, this kid will be lucky if he / she doesn't eat gravel and shit barbed wire. I know it sounds charming, doesn't it?

Nah...we're jazzed about it. It'll be interesting to get some noise way out in the woods where we live once in a while. I just don't know how I'm gonna handle shitty diapers yet.....I fucking hate poop.

anonymous said:


It was actually 1 year and 1 month later that I married her.

Who is this anyway? Not many people know us.....

You guys should hire castledoomerown for a babysitter. then you can have HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT NAKED BABYPOOP SEX ORGIES in the bathtub.

BAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahahahaha....

Hoser said:

I dont even know you anymore.

Dude...I love talking about it and poking at it with a stick....but I can't even clean up dogshit with a shovel without dry heaving.