Forum.RttP{my review of the new Venom}

I wanted to wait until this went online at http://www.maelstrom.nu

check out that site for Meg's review of the new Sodom! At least SOME old bands still have the magic.
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VENOM - Metal Black - CD - Sanctuary Records - 2006

review by: Larissa Glasser

Stay wild, all ye metal heads everywhere! To you, the legions, prepare yourselves; this is gonna be fucking awesome !!

– End liner notes of Venom’s previous official CD, Resurrection, 2000, SPV.

Branded into the core of my sensibility about metal (or lack thereof) is one trio of ambitious upstarts from Northeast England. Upon first hearing Venom in 1985, the hell hooks dug deep. Nothing else out there was as extreme – sure, the menu also offered the sharp guitar histrionics of Metallica, the foreign but somehow enticing Satanism of Mercyful Fate, and the implacable albeit traditional jack-knife of Motorhead. But like none other, Venom melded punk and metal with frightening (or accidental) aplomb. Along with the Satanism and horror focus, the songs sounded even more formidable due to the voice of Cronos, who raised screaming vocals to an art form. "Waaaaaaauuuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhh!"

An acquired taste, perhaps, but it melted my brain. And for those of you who still contend that Venom couldn’t play their instruments: we’ll have that discussion AFTER you try to decipher the riff to "Bloodlust" or "Woman." Fucking jackoff.

This band influenced many metal musicians, and although Venom was different things to different people, its effect on extreme metal as we know it today is immutable as time itself.

And yet, my relationship with Venom is one of deprivation. Like a battered girlfriend, I listen for everything they release in the hopes that it will, against the law of averages, match the glass-cutting might of the first several releases. So many people wrote Venom off even during their early days as a total joke while I flew their banner against the rainstorm.

Admittedly, the band’s actual quality has almost always been inconsistent. Even late as 2000, the band’s Resurrection album contained some pretty unbearable tracks, like "Pandemonium," "Thirteen," and the title track. There were awesome ones on there, too: "All There is Fear," "Vengeance," and "War Against Christ." So since desperation is the true mother of invention, I learned to make my own mix tapes long since.

When it comes to Venom, you’ve always got to roll the dice. Hope springs eternal when Cronos is involved. He is the original vocalist of extreme metal. His rock climbing accident a few years ago threatened to snuff out any likelihood of new Venom releases or concerts, but now Metal Black flails forth.

One of the first things you notice in this new record is the mix. One of Venom’s original characteristics, along with the raw punk mix, was Mantas’ guitar. It was always tinny, often secondary to Cronos’ distorto-bass and death breath. Guitarist Mike Hickey (Mykvs), who had once replaced Mantas back in the ‘80s, replicates that signature Mantas sound on Metal Black and redistributes it with such conviction that it’s mandatory to play the record very loud.

However, like Venom’s output from Possessed and onward, this album is riddled with merely adequate high points and insipid lows. That uneven ratio has rendered it difficult to rate Metal Black as a whole, because the more Cronos-fronted Venom the better, but fellatio follows certain prerequisites. So with the bittersweet memory of penning every erstwhile Venom title from memory onto the cover of my middle school notebook, it’s best to approach this new release one song at a time.

"Antechrist" is a strong, thrashy opener reminiscent of "Powerdrive." Venom are still sincere about wanting to play for arena-sized audiences, which seems both tender and sad. If it were up to me, they’d have outsold their heroes Kiss. In another life, perhaps, when bombast is matched with talent.

"Burn in Hell" is so Spinal Tap in its wavering gait, it’s hard to not laugh. One most suspect (or hope) that Venom is in on the joke here, but who can REALLY trust to hope when it comes to this band? An impending tour of the United States bills Devildriver as support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . uh-huh.

"House of Pain" heralds our arrival into the valley of shite. Heaviness is confused with plodding tedium in this instance, and worse, it fades out with a really fucking annoying motif that makes you just want to hit "NEXT."

"Death & Dying" is an energetic semi-recovery from that last track, but an uphill battle nonetheless. The chemistry between band members is more evident here, though. Drummer Annton (Cronos’s younger brother, in reality) really bludgeons his kit during this song. It’s nice to hear.

"RegO Satanas" gets back in touch with Venom’s Van Halen side, but it sounds too contrived to be enjoyable. Despite some real classic metal heaviness, this one misses the dartboard. Alas, for the score.

"Darkest Realm" FINALLY takes more musical cues from Priest than Slipknot, and the silliness of the lyrics are so "Heavy Metal Parking Lot" it’s difficult to rebuke their sincerity.

"A Good Day to Die" goes back to Van Halen terror-tory but is also one of the coolest songs on the release, simply because it follows as much of a hardcore punk precept as metal. For anyone who gives a blue fuck at this point in reading (not including anyone from Devildriver), part of what made Venom so awesome back in the day was the equal footing in their British audiences of punks and metalheads.

"Assassin" is at least above the five-mark. The lyrics seem to hearken back to the material Venom covered in "Schizo" off of their debut, Welcome to Hell. Musically, however, it’s plod. Ferocious, but pitted with potholes. Cronos’ singing sounds at times like he’s seething through clenched teeth, which in itself would warrant extra credit. But the self-conscious meh of the riffs and tired-sounding structure tip the balance.

"Lucifer Rising" shares a symptom with so many of the other tracks on here. It has an awesome, majestic midsection peppered with a thrilling guitar solo. But the rest is such Slipknot wanna-be abortion dong huffing, I have to try and think back, "If this song had been on At War with Satan, Possessed, or even Deadline (HA! trivia), would I enjoy it more?" Okay, let’s try not to wax nostalgic about 20-odd years ago. Let’s talk about right fucking now. Fine, then. This song sucks. A sad, sad otter. Next.

"The Blessed Dead" is a slight recovery, but as is the case with so many "recoveries" after I lament the glory days gone by for this awesome fucking band (I’ve yet to witness a live performance), the crumbs of sustenance are few. Fuck. This album is not going well.

"Hours of Darkness." What are you guys trying to do, TICKLE me? Thanks, but it’s depressing, instead. Come on, already. I’m glad you’re okay, Conrad, but did you hit your fucking head in that accident? Christ.

"Sleep When I’m Dead," or when this song plays.

"Maleficarvm" is an oasis of HEAVINESS after what, thirty minutes of substandard Venom? If I wanted to hear so much vapid nu-metal that just happens to have my favorite bass player and vocalist featured on it, I’d watch MTV’s Headbanger’s Ball. And the punchline is this: how much do you want to bet THAT program will ignore Venom’s apparently impending return to The United States like a crab’s eye on the end of a stalk? I abhor gambling in any and all forms, but in this case exceptions will be made. Just e-mail me, Hatebreed fans. Afterwards we’ll party on my newly-affordable lear jet while Black Metal (1982) blasts in the background.

Finally, the title track "Metal Black," is meant to be a climax – thrashy and fast as fuck. But... what the hell? It’s only good when it ends. (0 to infinity, and back again/10)