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post by
Dave_Maggot
at 2008-10-27 11:40:32
post by MarkFuckingRichards at Oct 27,2008 11:27am
I don't think I can come up with 10, and I'm sure there are several movies that sucked more than the ones I'm going to list, but can't remember them...probably for a good reason. This list is in no particular order.
1. The Hulk (Ang Lee, of course) - This movie could have been abridged to 45 minutes, or at least just cut down to the dog-ball punching scene. A guy behind me answered his cell phone in the middle of the movie, and I was more interested in hearing what his conversation was about. Most of the theater could hear him clear as day and no one cared, haha. Fuck this movie.
3. Jeepers Creepers - I refused to see this movie, but Dave Maggot said it was going to be awesome (haha, I'm totally throwing you under the bus), so I trusted his judgment. I can never forgive you Dave, haha. This movie started out with promise; if the angel of death faggot just stayed a creepy, backwoods hick with a cavern made out of human corpses, this movie would have ruled. I knew I was watching the gayest movie ever (even gayer than gay porn) when the jeeper creeper guy made out with a decapitated male cop's head. The only thing that made this movie enjoyable was the constant heckling and jokes coming from pretty much everyone in the theater.
4. Cabin Fever - Looking back on it, this movie was pretty damn entertaining. BUT, at the time I wanted to kill myself. I was expecting a decent horror movie, not a half-assed horror/comedy or whatever the fuck it turned out to be. There were some good lines, some nice gory scenes and some total curve balls, but in the end I probably would have been better off staying home and masturbating.
5. Queen Of The Damned - I didn't expect to be floored by this movie, but was interested in it nonetheless. This was the first and only movie I ever fell asleep during in a theater. I can't even tell you what this movie was about except that Aaliyah was the Queen and some douchebag was some big rock and roll star who played some huge concert, blah blah blah, the end.
i'll throw myself under the bus here. im responsible for mark seeing these ones. for a while he wouldnt go to the movies with me at all because of these epic fail choices.
i totally forgot to add queen of the damned to my list. at the time it was my favorite book. but the movie was shit. that wouldve been my number one if i didnt completely forget i saw it at theaters.
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